


A Goldfish Dies in Gotham

by peterqpan



Series: Bat Tales [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DC Extended Universe
Genre: I don't know, I think Bruce is canonically this ridiculous, M/M, maybe crack?, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26648848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterqpan/pseuds/peterqpan
Summary: Bruce reflects on his lack of power to protect those he is responsible for, while Clark loves him for being so melodramatic about a goldfish
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne
Series: Bat Tales [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891771
Comments: 24
Kudos: 69





	A Goldfish Dies in Gotham

**Author's Note:**

  * For [susiecarter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/susiecarter/gifts).



> I am working on a ton of other things to post, but nothing's getting finished, so hey, have a bit of nonsense.

Bruce Wayne stared at the fish floating at the top of his aquarium, and thought dark thoughts about mortality. His parents had died, so many innocents had died—and now, wafting gently in the eddies from the water pump, here was the limp corpse of Norton the fish. Norton was dancing even in death, caught in a vortex of filter bubbles. 

The witnesses, Finn and Rey, were gulping curiously at him, swishing their fins and darting around the plastic treasure chest. When Bruce stuck the wire net in for body retrieval, they fled in fishy terror as he tried to scoop the corpse of their friend and ended up batting it around the tank. "I'm sorry," he told them, as it bounced off the glass and into a small explosion of sand and gravel at the bottom. "I've tried to learn to be more respectful of the dead. But I don't think your friend will return, even if I expose him to sunlight. I...do not have that power. The power to undo the damage I've caused." 

The corpse of Norton the fish collided with Finn, and Bruce jumped, splashing water onto the floor as he wondered whether he'd killed _another_ fish with blunt force trauma. Rey hid in a hole in the reef as Bruce smacked her live friend with the corpse of her dead friend, and Bruce shuffled to the other side of the tank to renew his efforts. "I bring fear even to fish," Bruce muttered, but finally retrieved the fatality. He leaned close to give Finn a once-over. "I did not mean for you to have to go through that," he told the fish. "I hope you are all right. I cannot read the expression of a fish."

He stood regarding Norton's corpse in the net, and felt water droplets landing on his socks. He wondered whether it was just water, or the release of bowels a human would experience—and if Norton had been terrified, or calm as a fish could be, well-fed under a soft aquarium light, safe with his friends, and protected from the terrors of the night. 

Unless Finn and Rey were killers. "I will buy you a Poe, if you wish," he told them. "It's only that his name wasn't a pun." They stared back.

The floor creaked, and Bruce looked up to see Clark looking from him, to Norton's corpse, to the tank. Bruce wriggled his toes—his socks were wet.

"We must assume he died of natural causes," he said, and Clark blinked. "It appears it is not only humans I fail at keeping alive and well."

"Uh," Clark said, "—um, maybe he was just old. For a fish. Do you—do you want to bury him? I could find a little box."

Bruce considered. "The toilet will do."

They stood shoulder-to-shoulder, wedged before Bruce's toilet—even at Wayne Manor, the bathrooms weren't meant for two men of their size attempting to stand before the toilet at once. 

Bruce tipped Norton in, and Clark said, "Goodbye, Norton." Bruce nodded once, and flushed him down, and sighed. 

"He had a good life," Clark offered. "For a fairground fish."

"I promised Finn and Rey I would supply a Poe," Bruce said, watching the water swirl. "I hope...they are not murderers."

"...let's assume they aren't," said Clark, always ready to give the benefit of the doubt. "Want to go buy a fish? We could look for a BB8."

"How are you always ready to begin again?" Bruce asked softly, and Clark pulled him into a hug, shaking. Bruce leaned into the warm embrace, smiling at the kisses raining down on his face and hair, only to realize from a snort by his ear that Clark was _laughing._

**Author's Note:**

>  **Thank you so much for wandering in! Lemme know if you liked my story--I lovelovelove hearing from people! Kudos! Short comments! Long comments! Questions! Constructive criticism! Comments as extra kudos! Talk to each other! Talk to me! =D Thank you, thank you for reading this far! XD** (I try to reply to each one, but if you don't want a response to your comment then please say "No reply please" or "Whisper" so I'll know not to reply.)
> 
> Thanks so so much for reading this far! XD


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